Aries, January 19, 2011: People think, when they try to be 'in the right place at the right time' that it means changing location. Rarely, though, is this required. It's much more likely that a simple change of attitude will do the trick. Simply by deciding that you are going to feel all right, you can chase away much of what's wrong. A confident person, deciding to play the hand they have been dealt as well as possible, can be far more successful than an insecure individual who happens to be holding an entire set of aces. Remember that today.
____
Ok ok ok ok----- I GET IT! It's all in my head. I'm a worry wart, a nervous nelly, all by own making. Confidence is not my gift, so I have to cultivate it. And what better timing to bring up the subject of confidence then now- the day I've taken off work to prepare for a little somehting of my own making that I am sweating and losing sleep over.
So, Eva is my friend who I met on set of Syria, VA. She's fabulous and wild and I adore her. Often, I just sort of sit back and watch her, because she's the kind of person who takes a stage. And that's fine by me. Anyway, around New Year's I threw out this idea for a sharing, a workout, and I thought it would end up being her, me, her boyfriend, maybe one other, and we'd all get together eat, and half of us would share. Not so. She's built quite a little community that is coming together this Saturday. I mean, she took the idea and ran with it. And I'm glad she did. Because I'm used to letting plans crumble. I back out of too much, so I'm glad she held me to it.
Now, if I just knew what I was going to do, because of course, I feel the need to blow the windows the place. I suppose I'll do a monologue- it's expected, but it's also necessary. I need a few in my back pocket before the move, and I've aged out of previous ones. I called her last night, half expecting to hear that her life is moving at a rapid pace, she has a million things happening, and could we just move the date one more time. At which point I would sigh with relief, attempt to make her feel good about that decision by divulging my own drama (even if there really hasn't been much), and hangup happy to put this off yet again.
Luckily, she didn't say that. So here we are. I have a stack of books here, and a few monologues that I truly treasure, but none I feel solid about so far. Today's goal: find one to feel solid about and work the hell out of it. There seem to be two groups of monologues to which I'm drawn- women who are strung out on some man or mothers of children with disabilities. Should really charm the crowd, right?
But that's just it, I want to charm the crowd. I want to fill them with energy and life and hope and help them disappear for a second into another person. That's what I'll ask of casting agents, and I'm pretty sure this will be a harder crowd to woo than the agents. Thus, the amazing amount of pressure I've been putting on myself. But no more. Cainer says so. Confidence. It's all about confidence, and thus I will confidently choose and work and take time to channel that confidence when I stand up in Eva's living room on Saturday in front of this other stuck folks who long for a community to create- same as me.
____
Ok ok ok ok----- I GET IT! It's all in my head. I'm a worry wart, a nervous nelly, all by own making. Confidence is not my gift, so I have to cultivate it. And what better timing to bring up the subject of confidence then now- the day I've taken off work to prepare for a little somehting of my own making that I am sweating and losing sleep over.
So, Eva is my friend who I met on set of Syria, VA. She's fabulous and wild and I adore her. Often, I just sort of sit back and watch her, because she's the kind of person who takes a stage. And that's fine by me. Anyway, around New Year's I threw out this idea for a sharing, a workout, and I thought it would end up being her, me, her boyfriend, maybe one other, and we'd all get together eat, and half of us would share. Not so. She's built quite a little community that is coming together this Saturday. I mean, she took the idea and ran with it. And I'm glad she did. Because I'm used to letting plans crumble. I back out of too much, so I'm glad she held me to it.
Now, if I just knew what I was going to do, because of course, I feel the need to blow the windows the place. I suppose I'll do a monologue- it's expected, but it's also necessary. I need a few in my back pocket before the move, and I've aged out of previous ones. I called her last night, half expecting to hear that her life is moving at a rapid pace, she has a million things happening, and could we just move the date one more time. At which point I would sigh with relief, attempt to make her feel good about that decision by divulging my own drama (even if there really hasn't been much), and hangup happy to put this off yet again.
Luckily, she didn't say that. So here we are. I have a stack of books here, and a few monologues that I truly treasure, but none I feel solid about so far. Today's goal: find one to feel solid about and work the hell out of it. There seem to be two groups of monologues to which I'm drawn- women who are strung out on some man or mothers of children with disabilities. Should really charm the crowd, right?
But that's just it, I want to charm the crowd. I want to fill them with energy and life and hope and help them disappear for a second into another person. That's what I'll ask of casting agents, and I'm pretty sure this will be a harder crowd to woo than the agents. Thus, the amazing amount of pressure I've been putting on myself. But no more. Cainer says so. Confidence. It's all about confidence, and thus I will confidently choose and work and take time to channel that confidence when I stand up in Eva's living room on Saturday in front of this other stuck folks who long for a community to create- same as me.
No comments:
Post a Comment