Living on the edge

Aries, Thursday, 17 February 2011
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When I was very small, my pals and I had a playground game. One of us would be appointed 'Wolf'. The rest of us would stand around saying, 'What's the time Mr Wolf?' 'Mr Wolf' would reply '5 o'clock' or '6 o'clock'. So we'd all ask again. Eventually, instead of answering with a specific time, 'Mr Wolf' would say 'Dinner time!' and we'd all have to run away before the wolf caught us to 'eat' us. It's worth remembering now that dangerous situations aren't always immediately dangerous. But if you keep rattling a cage... 

___________

So, this hasn't horoscope hasn't caused any level of panic, whatsoever. Nope, I'm absolutely cool as a cucumber. I mean, what danger do I possibly have in my life? The hot water heater has not been leaking at all. My car's check engine light has not been on for 2 weeks. My dog, Bella, does not lose her mind and weasel out of her harness at the sight of another dog. A stray cat has not been hopping the fence to hang out in our yard, so I do not have to worry about Kee getting into a fight. The threat of fire is not at a critical level in our region due to excessive dryness, and I do not notice excessive dryness in the house. I do not accidentally put my hands near my mouth after being out in public and before washing them. And I toooootally have all my lines memorized for this project. 

No worries. 

Right?

I found out last night that the director's first child is due any day now, and the mother is our make-up artist/ costumer/ PA. They are students at VCU, but emotionally more mature than I think I was at their age. Although, I really don't know their ages. I just assume they are of college age. They look it. So, kudos to them either way. This little project is literally racing a baby, and I still need to memorize lines. I'm such an asshole!

I took off yesterday to memorize lines, but decided cleaning, fixing my heinous closet, shopping for my character's shoes, and visiting with Em for a few hours more necessary. I didn't even exercise. See, readers, this is what ADHD does to your life. It wrecks it. I feel awful about myself now. Which isn't going to help me memorize any quicker!  Which totally makes me feel shakier about my performance (something I already feel intensely shaky about anyway)! So, I feel great about my dad coming to check on the pets and seeing the house. I can find clothes in my overstuffed closet. BUT I AM COMING UNDONE BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE MY LINES MEMORIZED!!!!!!!!

Actually, calm down, me. I have the scenes we are doing today memorized. If we need to do the doctor's scenes, they would be tonight anyway, and I'd have time to work on them. (deep breath in and out). 

What's more the other areas are covered: water boiling for moisture; dogs cleared yard for kee; plan in place for bella; vitamin c taken; and the gauges on the car all indicate that it's fine + car could breakdown at anytime anyway, so that's why insurance plan was purchased. 

You know what doing all that stuff did: it re-calibrated me. By the end of the night last night, I felt great about myself, in charge of my life, in charge of performance. And memorizing alone won't do that. I have my scenes for today memorized. And if we want to shoot all of the scenes with the child, I have all of her scenes memorized (which I secretly wish they would do since now I know we are racing a baby). So there. Cage unrattled. 

right?

RIGHT?

How sturdy is that lock?