Celibacy and marriage and flowers and other things I want from boys I don't like

Aries, Monday, 14 February 2011
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'The best portion of a good man's life is his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love.' So said your fellow Aries, the poet William Wordsworth. I'm sure he meant a 'good woman' too... though back in his day, our clumsy language was even more clumsy. Make allowance, today, for language that could be easily misconstrued. Remember, too, that a few gentle gestures, reflecting true sincerity, are worth far more than a thousand dramatic and somewhat artificial expressions. 

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Ahhh, sweet. Yes, I will remember this. Yesterday, I talked with Em. She misses Duane. I can't tell if she is just falling back into the marriage because it's the easiest route out of her current situation, or if she genuinely misses him. Either way, it's her life, but I hope Duane takes advantage of this and truly learns to value her. Before we hung up I told her she's a really good person. 

Yesterday, I met with the dog whisperer again. She gave me lots of good tips, like walking the dogs around the new neighborhood before even going inside our new apartment; or having them stay with me as I unpack each room; or taking one dog at a time to the dog park/ dog beach for more manageability. She said to circle the same block to or three times instead of covering a wide swath of  land initially, that getting them used to a block at a time is far easier. 

And then we discussed the idea of just taking Olive and Bella. I asked her what she thought the separation would do to the dogs, and she said she thought they would get over it easily. She said Olive is truly into having my attention, and Bella is truly into the attention of whoever is closest- person or dog or cat. Suddenly my world lightened up. It's not that I don't love her, I love her in crazy amounts, but just taking one dog and one cat is infinitely easier. My parents' dog loves her, too, and she loves living at my parents. I know it would take some convincing, but I think it's worth a shot. 

This morning I wondered if anyone would sent me flowers today: an absolutely crazy thought, I know!! And the thought that followed was about celibacy. My hormones are raging right now, and I know I shouldn't make any hasty decisions. I don't need any ties. I imagined a few guys that have passed through asking me on dates. All are great, but I'm not interested in anything long term with them. I even thought of Sallah- ha! I'm sure he's chomping at the bit to see me again! For the life of me, I can't figure out why that crept back up, because he really didn't do much to woo me. 

I know this is all just a bit of loneliness creeping in, like a last flail as I make the commitment. I do think I need to be celibate for awhile. I let sex kick off my last relationship and look where it ended up. I read that most people think we shouldn't have sex on the first date. I take it most people aren't walking out of a divorce. Regardless, I assume most people understand the art of the chase better I do. Moreso, it must be a successful strategy for them or else they wouldn't advocate it, right? But what if I don't want to be in a relationship, and I just want a little nookie here and there? Nope, nope, nope. Nookie becomes emotional and emotional will get in the way. In due time, self, in due time. 

So, the film has been set. Although, nobody contacted me. Filming is this Thursday- Sunday, and the role of the doctor in the Donors has been cast. It's Brian Wimer. Trying not to feel nervous about that. He's supposedly really good, and anyway, he's a director, so I'd like to impress. I'm diving in today, and living in the donors for a week. It's time to work- Hallelu!